YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry.
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is yesterday with its mistakes and cares,
Its faults and blunders, Its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed.
We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow.
With its possible adversities, Its burdens, 
Its large promise and poor performance.
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's Sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, 
but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.
This just leaves only one day . . . Today.
Any person can fight the battles of just one day.
It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternity's -
yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of today that drives people mad.
It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday 
and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us therefore live but one day at a time.

~ Author Unknown ~
(Possible author Jennifer Kritsch)

Does Life begin at 40?

It has been almost 2 months since my BIG 40!!!  I did not post on my birthday. I approached turning 40 as this  glorified event, hoping that my life would magically change. Oh it has...I've have to make some big girl decisions and really face some of my fears.

What 40 now means to me... it means that I am still searching to find out who I am. It means, not being negative and learning to accept change.  It means, not using "can't", "hard", and "fear" as go to words in my everyday vocabulary.  It's about learning how to say "no" without guilt. It's about asking for help without feeling like a burden or a failure. It's about learning to let go and taking chances.  It's about seeing what is beyond your front door.  Turning 40 is about...ME!!!

Appreciating Everything

Appreciate those who have hurt you, because they strengthen your heart
Appreciate those who deceive you, because they improve your wisdom
Appreciate those who slander against you, because they improve your personality
Appreciate those who whip you because they arouse your will to fight
Appreciate those who abandon you, because they teach you independence
Appreciate those who make you stumble, because they strengthen your legs
Appreciate those who denounce you, because they remind you of your shortcomings
Appreciate those who give you strength

- Unknown

Life Begins At 40

I just filed for divorce. I'm divorcing my past, divorcing my pain, divorcing my doubt, and divorcing my setbacks. The judge gave me full custody of my destiny, full custody of my call, full custody of my life. Divorce yourself from your past so that your future can be released...

3days, 17hrs, 40mins, 10sec until my 40th Birthday!

By Any Means Necessary!!!

Kinky, Kurly, Naturally Me...It's not only about hair...it's also about the journey! It's food that feeds the mind, body & soul for all women of color. For me, it's more than how I care for my hair.  It is a holistic journey... one that is helping me to learn to love myself as a WHOLE person.  I am learning no matter how pretty someone else my say I am, I have to believe it MYSELF!  I am learning that just because someone my perceive me as being well put together..I have to believe it MYSELF!  We as black women, have been beat down by negative images and demeaning comments for hundreds of years.  I want to nurture and empower women...mind, body & soul.  If I have to start with our hair, so be it...but it won't end there!!!! 

A Mid Summer's Night Pampering Dream. 21 Days of Pampering Bliss...For Your Mind, Body, & Soul.

pam·per verb \ˈpam-pər\transitive verb: to treat with extreme or excessive care and attention.

Pampering isn't only about getting a mani and a pedi. Pampering is an expression of self- love, self -discovery, and selflessness. The pampering experience should engage the entire being, as it is a holistic form of self-care.  It's also about feeding your mind, body, and soul. Pampering should be a priority in one's life!   It shouldn't be viewed as something you have to put on your "to do" list. It should come as naturally, as washing your face and brushing your teeth. 

Is pampering really that easy?  It can be...but not if you're not catering to your mind, body, and soul.   If you are only paying attention to the outside, and your appearance, and not nurturing the inside, and feeding your spirit, then the pampering experience is a total failure. Why? Because then you're focusing on  superficial characteristic and not your entire spiritual being.

For 21days, starting today, I will post 21 pampering gems that will catering to your, mind, body, and soul!   Ladies... there are GIVEAWAYS as a part of the 21 Days of Pampering Bliss!  My first giveaway is a gift basket from Raw Ingredients. It contains Sexy Body Butter, Sexy Body Scrub & Mango and Coconut Soap.  Click on Raw Ingredients link to learn more about the products.http://www.facebook.com/pages/Kinky-Kurly-Naturally-Me/190655580968229#!/pages/Raw-Ingredients/309837959704

See contest rules...http://naturallyme40.blogspot.com/p/21-days-of-pampering-bliss-contest.html

Wise Words...By Oprah Winfrey

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.  Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't 'be friends'. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is Don't stay because you think 'it will get better' You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.  Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently? Always have your own set of friends separate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.  If something bothers you, speak up. Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later. You cannot change a man's behavior.* Change comes from within. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are.... Even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less. Never let a man define who you are. Never borrow someone else's man. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you All men are NOT dogs. You should not be the one doing all the bending.... Compromise is two way street. You need time to heal between relationships... There is nothing cute about baggage.... Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals... Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted Never move into his mother's house.  Never co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.* Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful: Dr. Phil You should know that: You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing. If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one. They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one. Ladies take care of your own hearts.... Share this with other women and men (just so they know)... You'll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.

8 Months Post Big Chop

If you have colored your natural hair...check out Makeup by Rachel O!

If you are considering coloring your natural hair.  Rachel O is the way to go.  You can follow her on her blog or subscribe to her youtube channel. I have colored my natural hair and have been studying other natural hair sista channels for tips on maintaining moisture and healthy hair. I  have found her to be very, very, informative, clear and concise. 

Dead Prez "The Beauty Within"

I had posted this video on Facebook when I did my "big chop" in November of 2010. I had to share it again, not only because I am natural, but for the simple fact it portrays black women in a positive light. With so many negative and derogatory images of black women, it is a breath of fresh air to see a black man pay homage to a black woman with dignity and in good taste.

  

The Power Of One

The Power Of One

          One song can spark a moment,
         One flower can wake the dream.
        One tree can start a forest,
       One bird can herald spring.
     One smile begins a friendship,
    One handclasp lifts a soul.
    One star can guide a ship at sea,
    One word can frame the goal.

    One vote can change a nation,
    One sunbeam lights a room.
     One candle wipes out darkness,
      One laugh will conquer gloom.
        One step must start each journey,
           One word must start each prayer.
               One hope will raise our spirits,
                  One touch can show you care.

                         One voice can speak with wisdom,
                             One heart can know what's true.
                                One life can make the difference,
                                   You see, IT'S UP TO YOU!

~ Author Unknown~

Bump in the Road...And this too shall pass.

I missed my six month nappiversary post on June 20, 2011.  I hit a road block and I know that this too shall pass.  The roadblock wasn't about my hair...it was about life.  Sometimes, life gets in the way.  Just when you think you have it all under control...BAM! You hit a roadblock.  The worst thing that you can do when life happens is to panic.  I had to let go and let God... This hasn't always come easy for me.  I was always considered the "strong" one.  A "superwoman".  Well, it's not what it is all cracked up to be.  I have taken off the cape and relinquished my "strong, black, woman" title. 

As I have stated in previous posts, I am trying to find out who I am.  I will no longer allow others or labels to define me.  Boy, it has been a rocky road.  But it is a road that has to be traveled.  Some will come along and others will be left behind.  All I know is that I will keep the faith, and ask for help along the way.  Asking for help is not a bad or weak trait... a real "strong woman' that will ask for help.  As my four year old daughter said to me, "Mommy big girls can't always do everything by themselves, they sometime need to ask for help." Out of the mouth of babes often comes gems!

"Lose Myself" by Marsha Ambrosius "Late Nights and Early Mornings" & How I am losing myself!

Kinky, Kurly, Naturally...Me It's not just about hair...it's about the journey! It's food that feeds the mind body & soul for all women of color.  During this journey, I have come to realize things that I love and do not love about myself. I do have to lose myself, not only so I can love someone else better, but myself too. When I listen to the words of this song it personifies one of the paths in my journey.

One day, I woke up and looked at myself in the mirror and I made a promise to love myself and give myself the same unconditional love and support I so freely give to others.
I am learning never to allow someone to be my priority while allowing myself to be their option.
In the end, it's all about me being responsible for my own happiness, self, esteem, and growth. It's not going to be easy...but it is achievable.

Kinky, Kurly, Naturally..Me, the blog and the experience

 Kinky, Kurly, Naturally..Me, the blog and the experience is not only about hair, it's also about the journey...mostly about the journey.  I am not a natural hair care guru or expert.  My blog is not like other 'natural hair' blogs.  As a matter of fact, I wouldn't even categorize it only as a natural hair care blog.  There are so many natural hair care blogs and websites that offer great advice and the sistas are so knowledgeable and dedicated.  These are the sites in which I refer to when I have questions and these are the sites that I  studied once I went natural.  These sistas are the hair care gurus and experts in my opinion. ( see my top natural hair sites).


Kinky, Kurly, Naturally Me... is a platform for me to share my journey and to inspire others in their life's mission.  As I have stated before, going natural for me was not motivated by an epiphany to return to my natural roots or the need to cut off damage, over processed hair. My hair was pretty healthy.  I did it because I was at a crossroads. But subconsciously, I knew I was in need of a mental, physical and emotional change.  While is has been a great ride so far, by no means has it been easy.  As I cross off my  40 for 40 items, I still am mentally, emotionally and spiritually getting it together.  Sometimes things do fall apart, but that is part of the journey.  The biggest reward is becoming the person that I knew was within me all along...can't wait to meet her.



Photo Courtesy of PhotoMedia Diaries by Dani

http://www.photomediadiaries.com



The Awakening

Photo Courtesy of PhotoMedia Diaries by Dani

http://www.photomediadiaries.com/

The AwakeningSonny Carroll There comes a time in your life when you finally get it ... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on." And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective. ..........This is your awakening.

I always try to post some inspirational pieces that coincides with my journey in hopes that whomever reads it can relate.  I share this because...I want to, I need to, I have to.

"I Am Me and I am okay!

My Declaration of Self-Esteem - "I Am Me"
Virginia Satir

In all the world there is no-one else exactly like me.

Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone chose it.

I own everything about me; my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or to myself - I own all my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes, because I own all of me.



Photo Courtesy of PhotoMedia Diaries by Dani

http://www.photomediadiaries.com/



I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me and other aspects that I do not know, but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and for ways to find out more about me.

However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say and do - I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me.

I own me, and therefore I can engineer me - I am me and I am okay.

Why Are Natural African-American Hairstyles Professionally Controversial?

Why Are Natural African-American Hairstyles Professionally Controversial?

What is your deepest fear?

Kinky, Kurly, Naturally..Me, the blog is not only about hair, it's also about the journey...mostly about the journey. Kinky, Kurly, Naturally Me... is a platform for me to share my journey and to inspire others in their life's mission.  Here is another inspirational piece that I have added to my journal and use it as an affirmation!  Enjoy!

Our Deepest Fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others."

~ Marianne Williamson - from "A Return To Love" ~

Black Women Short Hairstyles Going Natural

Black Women Short Hairstyles Going Natural

It's my 5 month Nappiversary!!!! My Top 10 things about being natural!

It's been 5 months since my big chop!  I can remember when my TWA was short and cute. Now it's grown and sexy! I was always on youtube studying other natural sistas, trying all of the  products that were on the reviews. It seems as if it were yesterday.  I couldn't wait until my 6 months nappiversary, because then it meant I was halfway there.  It has been such a great ride.  I have learned a lot, not only about myself, but about other women.  I have made new connections and friends, joined communities and supported other sista's dreams.  Ladies, you don't have to go natural or cut  your hair to start living your life.  Just do it!  

With that being said here are my top 10 things I have learned a lot about being natural.

1. Wash and go is a very misleading term.  Just ask my hair.
2. You must always treat your hair with TLC or she will turn on you.
3. Being natural gives you validation for being a product junkie.  I' m  just stating facts!
4.You can never own enough pairs of earrings no matter how much you try to convince yourself otherwise.
5. You start smiling at other natural sista in the street and we all give each other that look as if we are part of some secret society.
6.There really is no such thing as a bad hair day. Well...at least not yet!
7.  Don' t really care if I get caught in the rain without and umbrella.  Water is my friend!  Hot dang!!!!
8. Love it when someone asks, "what did you do to your hair?"  My response, "Not a damn thing! " LOL!!!
9. It cost a whole lot less from when I had a relaxer and was a slave to the salon.
10. I love being Kinky, Kurly, Naturally...Me!!!

Photo Courtesy of PhotoMedia Diaries by Dani

http://www.photomediadiaries.com/

Don't be afraid to color outside of the lines!

Don't be afraid to color outside of the lines! Go with the flow and dance as if not no one were watching, sing as if no one were listening, and live everyday as if as if it were your last! 

Photo Courtesy of PhotoMedia Diaries by Dani

http://www.photomediadiaries.com/

During a photo shoot last weekend with some beautiful women, I learned a lot about myself.  Once again, I don't know who I am, but what I am. I am a mommy and have to get out of "mommy mode" when I am having "me time" with the girls!  It took me a while to get comfortable in front of the camera and comfortable with just being...naturally me!  It has been a  fantastic journey and a wonderful ride so far. I am growing, learning about myself and embracing my womanhood like I have never done before.  Thanks to so many supportive women by my side offering encouragement and giving me positive reinforcement.

I know the journey  will not always be as smooth as it has been.  Still a lot of growing pains and bumps in the road to come.  But, I have learned to now see the glass as half full and to not be afraid to color outside of the lines!

Photo Courtesy of PhotoMedia Diaries by Dani

http://www.photomediadiaries.com/

Medical News: Popular Hairstyles May Cause Hair Loss in Black Women - in Dermatology, General Dermatology from MedPage Today

I think we have known this for a while. But, now it is a medically proven fact! Medical News: Popular Hairstyles May Cause Hair Loss in Black Women - in Dermatology, General Dermatology from MedPage Today

40 For 40

This year most of my friends, myself included, are turning 40.  I got this idea from one of my sista-friends, Shaunda.  For Shaunda's 40th birthday, she had a 40 for 40.  Starting on her birthday, Shaunda did 40 things for 40 days.  Something like a bucket list, but not as intense.

I  have decided to do the same thing but with a different twist.  However, I am doing a 40 before 40 and then a 40 after 40.  Huh?  Well, there are somethings that I want to do before I turn 40 that I have never done. These are little pleasurable items and accomplishments, such as walking across the Brooklyn Bridge.  I have lived in New York all of my life and have never, ever, walked across the Brooklyn Bridge.

 I, also, want to take a helicopter ride over NYC.  Tourist come to the NYC and take advantage of  our  atttractions and what this wonderful city has to offer.  New Yorkers take some of these attractions for granted.  It's the little things in life that count.  Another item on my list that is near and dear to my heart, is to go ice skating with my daughters.  They have gone ice skating, but I have never participated.  I was always the spectator.  You get the  idea...it's the little things that bring us personal pleasure, the shoulda, coulda, woulda's.

So... my 40 after 40 list is more goal orientated, such as finishing my Masters and starting my own business.  These are the goals that I have started and will finish in the next 5 years.  It's about making goals and accomplishing those goals.  It's about living life to the fullest and becoming a well rounded person. I am looking  at turning 40 as my new lease on life.   I'm a little bit older, a whole lot wiser and most definitely, sexier!!! Does this mean that I am officially a "grown-up?"  LOL!!!   Carpe Diem!

            Life Really Does Begin at 40!

Styling Afro Kinky Hair

Good Housekeeping has joined the natural hair movement. Short but simple article about a natural hair sister and her trials and tribulations of styling her natural hair. Styling Afro Kinky Hair

Wearing Ethnic Clothing At Work - Women Displaying Cultural Pride At The Office - Marie Claire

Wearing Ethnic Clothing At Work - Women Displaying Cultural Pride At The Office - Marie Claire

My 4 month Nappiversary!!!

Four months ago, I went natural with no intention to make a statement.  In retrospect, I went natural because I was ready.  I have learned so much about myself.  I now view my hair as an accessory.  I can change it according to my mood.  My hair expresses who I am, and does not define who I am.  Wait...I repeat!  My hair expresses who I am, and does not define who I am.  It has taken me 39 years to realize this.

 As I enter my "life begins at 40" stage, I have made a consciencous effort to feed my mind, body and soul. I have made the conscienceous effort to develop new friendships and to nuture and support old ones. You see, me going natural isn't only about my hair.  It is about self-exploration, and transformation! It is about spiritual growth and empowerment!  It is about acceptance and making decisions...wise, consciencous decisions.  I had my ahh ha moment and realized... going natural is about ME!!!!!

e.l.f Haul from Target

Promise Yourself

This is so inspirational that I had to post it on my blog.  If everyone tried to incorporate one of these concepts into their life the world would be a better place.

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can
disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to
every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel like there is
something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your
optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best,
and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the
greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give
every living person you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too
strong for fear, and to happy to permit the
presence of trouble.

The Optimist Creed
From The Optimist International

In my Makeup Bag

With spring being right around the corner, I needed to spruce up my makeup bag. I love makeup and it can be very costly.  However, I sometimes purchase my makeup either on sale or from a discount outlet such as Lots for Less. Some women will not purchase discount makeup. Why?  I say, “Why not?!!!” Target, Walgreens, and other drugstores are also great places to find budget friendly makeup.   This week Rite-Aid had a great sale on Maybelline and Revlon products.  So, I gathered my coupons and sale flyer and hit the pavement.

With  BOGOs (By one get one half off) and 40% off products, I purchased a tube of mascara, two bottles of  foundation,  two eye shadow palettes and pressed power all for the price of one bottle of designer foundation.  Yup!!  That’s right!  For less than $50.00 dollars, I was able to fill my makeup bag to the brim. 

 I must admit that I am a MAC addict.  My love for MAC came from sheer need.  As a woman of color, it has been difficult to find the correct color foundation.  Back in the day, I use to pay an arm and a leg to have my foundation custom blended at the Prescriptives counter.  We have come a long way baby…but still are not quite there yet.  Although there are a lot more shades available for women of color, not all stores carry those shades.  So please don’t be discouraged if you cannot find your shade in your local neighborhood drugstore. 




40% off $4.43 Revlon Volume Express Falsies

 

40% off $3.59 Maybelline 4 palette in Seashore Frost



BOGO $13.99 Revlon Color Stay Mineral Finish Powder in Suntan Matte



BOGO $6.50 Revelon Photo Ready Foundation in Caramel



Don’t be afraid to color outside the lines!

Accessories are a girl's best friend!

It has been almost 4 months since my big chop. I have tried several ways to spice up my twa.  I must admit, I bought some hair accessories, however, my daughter has forbidden me from wearing them. LOL!!!!

  While I  continue my search for the perfect, age appropriate,  hair accessories, I will rock my fabulous earrings. Earrings are another great way to showcase your short natural do! Not only have I added several more pairs of earrings to my already large earring collection, I have started a scarf collection too.   Remember to ALWAYS buy accessories on SALE!  Charlotte Russe has a great accessories sale...2 for $8.00.  Can't beat that.  Forever 21 is another favorite for very inexpensive accessories. When it comes to costume and fashion jewlery you can always find bargains. 

 However, I will splurge once in awhile on a fab find from a street vendor. But, I will never spend more than $20.00. unless I LOVE it! Don't be afraid to express your fabulousness through accessories!

Review: MAC's Wonder Woman Line

This was originally posted at [insertgeekhere] on March 2, 2011.

 Recently, MAC makeup announced their new line of Wonder Women makeup. As a geek girl, I was thrilled. Yes, it is probably a shameless attempt at the company to get my money, but it makes me feel validated as a geek and a girl. It's nice to feel that a makeup company recognizes that geek girls aren't a stereotype and that we wear makeup.

MAC even sponsored this great fashion show by Jeremy Scott during NY Fashion Week that features Superhero Fashion.

I went with the team to Macy's to check it out because it looked so fun! While Getsuyobi hid by the door holding our bags, Wysefyre and I happily checked out all of the fun cases they had out.

The display was old school Wonder Woman and looked great. A guy even came in off the street just to take a picture of it.

 I loved the look of the compacts and how bright and bold they were. They did capture the feel of Wonder Woman. The makeup colors were also bright and bold to the point of "I can't wear those except to a cosplay" bright. Granted, with the right skin tone, it may look good, but the average girl might feel a bit out of place.

 I had gone into the store planning on buying a lip glass, because I love having all different shades of lip wear. After looking at everything, I decided to buy Secret Identity, a bronze, shimmery shade that looked similar to other lip glosses I own and the only one I liked out of the bunch. When I finally got home to try it, it looked very watery against my lips, almost like melted chocolate. Once I blotted, it looked a little better but I was disappointed. Wysefyre tested the eyeliner on her hand, and it refused to wash off for two days, despite a lot of scrubbing. It finally came off after she used some toxic strength cleaning products.

Overall, this line didn't stand up to MAC usual quality. However, I still plan on buying regular MAC products, and I am hopeful that they will expand the Wonder Woman line with better quality stuff.

Wilderowens writes regularly for [insertgeekhere] as she tries to prove to the world that a Girl can still be a Geek.  She resides in New York. 

Please secure your own oxygen mask prior to assisting children or helping others!

If you've ever flown on an airplane most of us have heard this prior to take off.  However, we need to do this in our everyday lives.

Many women, myself included, are so busy raising children working in and out of the home and tending to the needs of others that we often neglect ourselves. As a matter of fact, I am sure that more women will take their children to the doctor at the first sniffle, sneeze or cough.  But, when they are sick they'll take a Tylenol and call it a day.

Some of you may say, "but I go and get my nails and hair done."  That doesn't count.  I mean really giving yourself that much need dose of oxygen.   Are you taking time to feed your soul?  Are you pursuing your goals and dreams? Are you making healthy food choices?  If you are healthy, both mentally and physically, then you can really lead by example and take care of your families.  Being self aware and  securing your own oxygen mask first does not mean  that you are selfish.  It actually means that you are selfless!

According to the airline, once the cabin loses air pressure, you will have only 18 seconds of consciousness.  Get the picture! 

Here are some tips that will get you in the habit of securing your own oxygen mask first!

1. Connect or Reconnect with GOD.  Prayer works!
2. It is OK to ask for help...so, ask for help!
3.Learn to let go. It doesn't have to be perfect.
4. Make rest and quiet time a priority
5.Create pampering and self-care rituals and  incorporated them in your life.
6.Make an effort to eat one vegetarian meal a week.
7. Go for it!  Write a bucket list and start checking off your  goals.
8. Join one organization and participate!
9.Utilize social networks more often and network, network, network!
10. Get your finances in order.

Black Women: Set SMART Goals for Yourself

Black Women: Set SMART Goals for Yourself

If not now!  When?  You have to be proactive in order to move ahead. This article is straight forward and to the point.  If you are like me, I make so many list and rarely do I  ever go back to them.  This article will help you not only  in making career choices, but in any aspect of your life.  Use it to apply in your life and see what happens.  What do you have to lose?

My Natural Hair Journey...

Don't be Afraid of a little Makeup

How many of us want to wear more than lip gloss and mascara, but are clueless when it comes to foundations, eyeshadow and blush?  Have you ever tried to experiment and ending up looking like Betty  Davis in "Whatever Happened to BabyJane?"

Even though I love to wear makeup, I am no makeup artist.  I can assist and advise but applying makeup on another person is not my area of expertise.  So for all you that may have considered makeup, but were to intimidated to try, I have included a tutorial from a sista that has it going on.  She is Ebony from Coloured Beautiful. 

‘An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail.’ ~ Edwin Land~

Tales of a Supermommie...The Working Mother Dilemma.

Are you a working mother by choice or by necessity? In these tough economic times, does the answer to this question really matter?  Some women put their career on hold after having kids.  What if you can’t afford to do so, then what? What if your career never really took off and you were just working to make ends meet? How do you address those feelings of…should I pursue my career goals or should I pursue a mom friendly job?

Home is where the heart is...

The Coil Review .com - Natural Hair New Year Commercial - Vers 2.1

Women of color are a unique breed. We come in all different shades, starting from the lightest of vanilla to the darkest of chocolate.  Our hair is unique.  We are in the board room and the operating room.  Sistas are  doing it for themselves. We have the choice to wear our hair relaxed or natural.  The operative word is "CHOICE."  However, while we have the choice and freedom to rock a curly fro, or a straight doobee, sometimes one choice my not be accepted by others. 

At one time, women of color couldn't wear braids in corporate America.  Now we rock, a twa, twists, locks, braids and still can get the job done.  I have heard some people express that natural hair is not as polished looking as relaxed hair.  Says who????  We must get out of the mentality that our hair in its natural state is not beautiful.  Since we are a unique breed, we do not fit the cookie cutter image of women portrayed in the media and by society. Yes, I had relaxed hair and it was beautiful.  It was beautiful because it was healthy and  I always gave it TLC.  I do the same with my natural hair.  While going natural my not be for all, at least we can show each other some sisterly support  by being an advocate to promote healthy hair and positive images of all women of color.

You Can't Shrink into Greatness!!!

Do you realize that you can create negative outcomes by negative thoughts and fear? Have you ever heard of the saying," If you speak it, you become it."

As I reflect on what I have accomplished, and have not yet to accomplish, I often beat myself up.  I am my own worst critic. I criticize and judge myself so much, that I do not recognize a compliment when I hear it.  Or better yet, I don't know how to respond once the compliment has been given.

Many women tend to do the same thing.  Have you ever received a compliment from another woman on an article of clothing that you were wearing and instead of saying "thank you", you say, "what this old thing?"

YOU CAN'T SHRINK INTO GREATNESS!!!

Positive affirmations are a great source for changing negative thoughts and behaviors. It can take anywhere from 21 to 30 days to create a habit.  Why not create a positive one?

I, affirm, that I will release self-judgement and support and encourage myself.  I am worthy of compliments and good fortune.  I will promote positive energy and encourage others in my life.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer."
~Albert Camus

Natural Hair Lingo.

I have received several questions regarding the terms that I've used to describe my natural hair. Here is a list of the most commonly used  natural hair lingo terms.  Please note, this is not a comprehensive list.  See link below.

TWA: Teeny, weeny, afro.

BC: Big chop- is too cut your relaxed hair leaving only your natural hair.
BAA: Bad Azz Afro or Big Azz Afro.

Pre-poo: preparing your hair prior to shampooing by conditioning hair with oils and conditioner to add moisture to hair.
Co-Wash: to wash hair with conditioner and not shampoo as some shampoos can dry out hair. Co-washing adds moisture back into the hair without stripping it of its natural oils.
Wash n go: to wash hair and apply product and allow hair to air dry.

Below is a link to a very comprehensive list.

http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=104119799618544&topic=1


Naturally Me!!!

Curly Nikki | Natural Hair Styles and Curly Hair Care: CN Presents the Kim Coles' Grow-Out Challenge

Curly Nikki Natural Hair Styles and Curly Hair Care: CN Presents the Kim Coles' Grow-Out Challenge: "Hola Chicas! Immediately following actress and comedienne Kim Coles' decision to Big Chop, we discussed her natural hair journey and exper..."

Hair Food/ My Top Hair Products

I am so loving my natural hair.  However, while it allows my hair to be chemical free, it is not maintainance free.  My mornings consist of wash and go's  in order to rock my TWA. Here is a list of the products that I am currently using.  I will post a tutorial on how I style my hair after a wash and go. Garnier Fructis Fortifying Shampoo for Curly Hair Garnier Fructis Fortifying Cream Conditioner for Curly Hair (I use this to co-wash) Giovanni Organic Hair Care Direct Leavin-In Weightless Moisture Conditioner KEMI Organics OYL All Natural Hair Oil ECO Styler Olive Oil Styling Gel